Blanner Still Leads: No Threats in Sight?

Anyone think that "Salt" would be the third best movie in Q3? Me neither.

The Q3 season has just over a month remaining, and it looks like Brian will ride the "Inception" horse to a first place finish. In this season, few movies have been reviewed well, so "Inception's" 74 Metacritic score is proving to be a big factor in the standings.

There is a huge cluster of teams in the middle, none of which look to present a tangible threat to Fart Grab Smell. Technically, the first pick of the draft has yet to hit theaters, but let's be honest, "Wall Street 2" won't be taking down Chris Nolan's blockbuster anytime soon.

Of the surprises in this season, "Salt" ended its run $100 million plus and a good Metacritic score. The Angelina Jolie thriller tallied 69 points for Meg, not bad for a second-round pick.

On the other side of that coin, "Middle Men" is nearing the end of its run an has yet to gross $1 million. Barring a big week, McKenzie's second-round pick will go down in history as the first movie to be released and not score a point.

Above are the current HFL standings. Click to enlarge. Movies with dark coloring are final scores and those with light coloring are in progress or yet to be released.

Q3 Race Heating Up

I don't want to knock Kyle's story off the top spot (if you haven't read it yet, shame on you), but here are the updated standings as of August 18th.

Let's see if I can knock out a summary in one paragraph:

Inception is still leading, Sarah looks safe from back-to-back titles, Meg is charging hard, Tim landed a solid pick, Kyle's gonna need a miracle, Telt's hopes are hitched to Clooney, Kenz looks completely screwed, I'm finally on the board, and Ellen is biding her time.

Above are the current HFL standings. Click to enlarge. Movies with dark coloring are final scores and those with light coloring are in progress or yet to be released.

Hollywood Fantasy League Q2 Recap

The Final Q2 Standings:

As promised, Kyle has compiled a pick-by-pick analysis of the Q2 season. And to no one’s surprise, it’s fantastic. Enjoy:

The second quarter of the 2010 Hollywood Fantasy League is over, and while we now know that Sarah Brockmeyer is the league’s first champion, what we don’t know is; who was the best team owner? From a value standpoint, who had the best draft? What was the best (and worst) draft pick? Who rose above their draft position and made a decent show of it, and who was handed the league on a silver platter and managed to make lemons out of lemonade? To answer all these questions (and hopefully not make everyone hate me) I now give you the full recap of the 2010 Hollywood Fantasy League Draft: Second Quarter.

Round One, Pick One

What they took: Iron Man 2, by McKenzee

Movie Score (rank in parentheses): 162 (2)

What they should have taken: Toy Story 3 (319)(1)

-With the first pick in the draft, Jurassic Parka managed to grab the second-best movie, which finished a mere four points above Twilight: Eclipse and 157 below Toy Story 3. Still, IM2 was the consensus #1 heading into the draft, so no one can much blame Kenz for this one.

Overall Value (How many spots above or below the movies finish it was drafted and the overall rank of how good or bad this pick was): -1.

Rd 1, Pk 2

What they took: Twilight: Eclipse, by Blanner

Movie Score: 158 (3)

What they should have taken: Toy Story 3 (319)(1)

-With Toy Story 3 still out there Blanner grabbed the third installment of the sparkly vampire saga. Yet and still, if anyone thought there was a challenge to IM2 pre-draft, it was Eclipse, which benefitted from tweens and MILFs pent-up desires to sleep with a homeless guy with stripper glitter all over him and better than expected reviews to earn the third-best rating.

Overall Value: -1

Rd 1, Pk 3

What they took: Toy Story 3, by Sarah

Movie Score: 319 (1)

What they should have taken: Toy Story 3

-Sarah becomes the first drafter to nail her position, and grabbed the movie that came two points from outscoring the first two picks all on its own. People still love Buzz and Woody, as evidenced by the conversation I had this weekend, when, while talking about TS3 a grown man said, in shock, “do you realize that kid is in college now?” as if Andy were a real person.

Overall Value: +2

Rd 1, Pk 4

What they took: Clash of the Titans, by Telthorst

Movie Score: 58 (6)

What they should have taken: Shrek Forever After (this will be a recurring theme)

-Telthorst was the first drafter whose 1^st round pick was not his highest scoring movie, as it turned out that the non-blue star of “Avatar” in a re-make of a 29-year-old sword-and-sandals epic did not translate to critical acclaim, 3-D by damned. The fact that so many people were willing to shell out money for it helped save Matt’s 1^st round and diminish my faith in humanity.

Overall Value: -2

Rd 1, Pk 5

What they took: Kick-Ass, by Tim

Movie Score: 30 (14)

What they should have taken: Shrek Forever After

-Tim managed to make his 1^st round pick his high-scorer, but since it shouldn’t have gone until the middle of the second round that wasn’t exactly good news for the Fo’ty Bustas Film and Theatre Company. Although, if it’s any comfort, I liked the movie a lot, and thought it was the best Nic Cage movie since “Adaptation.” Or maybe since “Next.”

Overall Value: -9

Rd 1, Pk 6

What they took: Sex in the City 2, by Meg

Movie Score: 24 (16)

What they should have taken: Shrek Forever After

-Meg went with Sex and the City 2, which, at least judging by its massive publicity blitz in New York, should have been a massive hit. Unfortunately for Sexy Marmaduke Too, audiences and critics alike seem to have tired of the antics of a rich horse-face, a 54-year-old slut, and their two friends that no one cares about. Though it nearly doubled the box office of “Kick-Ass” it managed less than half of that movie’s score on Metacritic.

Overall Value: -10

Rd 1, Pk 7

What they took: Robin Hood, by Kyle

Movie Score: 52 (7)

What they should have taken: Shrek Forever After (but I ended up getting it anyway, so nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah)

-Kyle decided that Robin Hood would be better with a middle-aged Russell Crowe instead of a young Kevin Costner. And he would have been right, if he hadn’t forgotten about the new version’s lack of Bryan Adams. Although Kyle’s choice got him even value, one shudders to think of the juggernaut he could have created if he had taken Shrek in this spot.

Overall Value: 0

Rd 1, Pk 8

What they took: The A-Team, by Jesse

Movie Score: 34 (12)

What they should have taken: Shrek Forever After

-With the 8^th pick Jesse took “The A-team,” which wasn’t really a surprise as anyone who knows Jesse knows he probably would have taken it with the first through fourth picks if he could have. Still, not everyone was as pumped about seeing the old black van roll again, and the movie failed to crack 100 million and was further hurt by lukewarm reviews.

Overall Value: -4

Rd 1, Pk 9

What they took: The Losers, by Ellen

Movie Score: 10 (23)

What they should have taken: Shrek Forever After

-Ellen was up against the odds as the owner of the last pick, and managed to come away with, well, not much. On a personal note, I was pumped to see Stringer Bell again, and ended up seeing “The Losers” roughly 1.4 million times, accounting for all of its nearly $23 million gross.

Overall Value: -14

Rd 2, Pk 1 (10 overall)

What they took: Knight and Day, by Ellen

Movie Score: 33 (13)

What they should have taken: Shrek Forever After

-Ellen gets the snake pick, and jumped on Tom Cruise’s return to action. (and no, “Valkyrie” is not an action movie. It’s more like a boring movie with English people playing German people being led by an American playing a German in which no one attempts an accent or to entertain.) Though it was better than her first pick, Knight and Day still managed to disappoint. Here’s hoping she has better taste in men. Oh, wait…

Overall Value: -3

Rd 2, Pk 2 (11)

What they took: Date Night, by Jesse

Movie Score: 42 (tied for 8)

What they should have taken: Shrek Forever After

-Jesse went with “Date Night” and benefitted from the fact that many lazy couples (Mr. and Mrs. Rowe included) decided to make “Date Night” a central part of their date night. The movie was thoroughly mediocre, but it managed to get Jesse positive value.

Overall Value: +3

Rd 2, Pk 3 (12)

What they took: Shrek Forever After, by Kyle

Movie Score: 126 (4)

What they should have taken: Shrek Forever After

-Booyah! The big green ogre comes through again, and Kyle is there to reap the benefits, a full twelve picks after the fourth installment of snarky digital fairy-tale telling should have gone. Though I can’t claim I thought it would do this well (Robin Hood, remember) I am pretty damn proud of this pick. I’d type more, but I just dislocated my shoulder patting myself on the back.

Overall Value: +8

Rd 2, Pk 4 (13)

What they took: Tyler Perry’s Why Did I Get Married Too?, by Meg

Movie Score: 25 (15)

What they should have taken: The Karate Kid

-Meg went with a “diverse portfolio” approach to the draft, grabbing the summer’s only Tyler Perry offering and hoping to get 100% of the black audience, rather than selling her soul, taking “The Karate Kid,” and settling for a portion of the child audience. It was a good strategy, but it didn’t work, as it turns out the main draw for most fans of Tyler Perry is the chance to see Mr. Perry dress as an elderly woman, something this movie sadly lacked.

Overall Value: -2

Rd 2, Pk 5 (14)

What they took: Nightmare on Elm Street, by Tim

Movie Score: 21 (18)

What they should have taken: The Karate Kid

-Tim unbelievably fails to improve on his first round pick and becomes the third member of the league to be tripped up by 80s nostalgia. In Tim’s defense the last time Jackie Earl Haley played a child molester he got nominated for an Oscar. But that movie also featured Kate Winslet getting nailed on a washing machine, and it still didn’t make money, so what hope did this have?

Overall Value: -4

Rd 2, Pk 6 (15)

What they took: The Karate Kid, by Telthorst

Movie Score: 97 (5)

What they should have taken: The Karate Kid

-Telthorst insisted all along that audiences would flock to watch Will Smith’s kid in some sort of desperate attempt at a Will Smith-fix, and it looks like he was right. “The Karate Kid” made nearly $160 million in four weeks, and yet even though this was another tired 80s retread it was the best thing any member of the Smith family has done in three years. On a side note, imdb.com says that including “Men in Black 3,” the senior Smith has 34 movies in pre-production, including “I, Robot 2” and “Independence Day 3.” That’s right, 3.

Overall Value: +10

Rd 2, Pk 7 (16)

What they took: Get Him to the Greek, by Sarah

Movie Score: 37 (11)

What they should have taken: Prince of Persia

-Sarah continued to get good value in the second round, grabbing “Get Him to the Greek,” which benefitted from a respectable Metacritic score to overcome disappointing box office. Who knew that Jason Segal guy was the reason for “Forgetting Sarah Marshall’s” popularity? Though really, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that pasty-white-guy-full-frontal is worth truckloads of money.

Overall Value: +5

Rd 2, Pk 8 (17)

What they took: Prince of Persia, by Blanner

Movie Score: 42 (tied for 8)

What they should have taken: Prince of Persia

-Blanner can’t seem to get enough of dudes wearing eyeliner, and if that’s your game, Jake Gyllenhaal is your guy. Unbelievably, “Prince of Persia” wasn’t the lowest scoring movie on Metacritic this season, which I would have bet any amount of money on prior to the draft. Anyway, with “Twilight,” Gyllenhaal, and a movie about Jim Carrey and Ewan McGregor’s gay love on Brian’s roster, it would seem Ellen is now taking applications for prima nocta.

Overall Value: +9

Rd 2, Pk 9 (18)

What they took: Grown Ups, by McKenzee

Movie Score: 40 (10)

What they should have taken: Grown Ups

-Adam Sandler movies always crack $100 million, unless he’s trying to do some “serious” acting, which didn’t seem to be in jeopardy this time around, and “Paul Blart” made a buttload, so it was a smart, if perhaps personally humiliating move, for Kenz to grab the “all-star” comedy with the 18^th overall pick. On a side note, who is the bigger loser on the set of “Grown Ups?” David Spade or Rob Schneider? I say Schneider. Spade was at least Chris Farley’s best friend. I think Schneider is Sandler’s fifth-best friend or something.

Overall Value: +8

Rd 3, Pk 1 (19)

What they took: Oceans, by McKenzee

Movie Score: 13 (20)

What they should have taken: Letters to Juliet

-So it’s come to this: take a sure-to-be horrible romantic comedy or action flick and hope a massive biological attack drives people indoors for weeks at a time, or go with a critical smash and hope it makes enough money that the Metacritic score propels you to victory. Kenz took the latter route, and it worked for her, to an extent. She could have done a lot worse, but, incredibly, she could have done better, if only she had taken a movie about a girl who answers love letters written to a fictional suicide victim and left on the side of a wall.

Overall Value: -1

Rd 3, Pk 2 (20)

What they took: I Love you, Philip Morris, by Blanner

Movie Score: 0 (27)

What they should have taken: Letters to Juliet

-Blanner manages to grab the worst performing movie of the quarter by taking a gay romantic dramedy starring Jim Carrey that is now slated for release sometime in October of 2010. While any other choice would’ve helped more than this, and 2 potential choices (Letters to Juliet and Death at a Funeral) would have gotten his team into second place, at least Blanner saw a movie earn an incomplete, a grade he thought had left his life after his seventh year of college.

Overall Value: -7

Rd 3, Pk 3 (21)

What they took: Jonah Hex, by Sarah

Movie Score: 3 (26)

What they should have taken: Letters to Juliet

-Sarah gambled that more teenage boys would want to watch Megan Fox and a disfigured Josh Brolin than teenage girls would want to watch a bug-eyed Amanda Seyfried and corpe-tastic Vanessa Redgrave, and I would have bet she was right. Jonah Hex was my “sleeper” that I hoped would fall to me in the third round, but in four weeks it managed just $10 million, or one thirty-fifth of the money Toy Story 3 made in the same time.

Overall Value: -5

Rd 3, Pk 4 (22)

What they took: McGruber, by Telthorst

Movie Score: 4 (25)

What they should have taken: Letters to Juliet

-Telthorst chose McGruber, a 90-minute movie based on a series of 90-second SNL skits. In other words, he took the movie adaptation of a skit less fully-developed than “Dick in a Box.” I saw about twenty minutes of McGruber and it was hilarious, but no one else seemed to get the memo, as it earned a mere $8.5 million dollars in four weeks, dead last amongst movies that were actually released.

Overall Value: -3

Rd 3, Pk 5 (23)

What they took: The Back-Up Plan, by Tim

Movie Score: 12 (21)

What they should have taken: Letters to Juliet

-Tim took the J-Lo pregnancy rom-com The Back-Up Plan and found out that no one much gives a shit about Jennifer Lopez, a “star” who has NEVER starred in a movie that grossed $100 million plus.

Overall Value: +2

Rd 3, Pk 6 (24)

What they took: Marmaduke, by Meg

Movie Score: 9 (24)

What they should have taken: Letters to Juliet

-Meg went with Marmaduke, featuring Owen Wilson as the titular Great Dane of newspaper comics fame, voiced by Owen Wilson. Marmaduke did decently at the box office, considering the presence of Wanda Sykes, but not so well with critics, although it was still better-reviewed than Meg’s first pick, Sex and the City 2.

Overall Value: 0

Rd 3, Pk 7 (25)

What they took: Death at a Funeral, by Kyle

Movie Score: 20 (19)

What they should have taken: Letters to Juliet

-Kyle chose Death at a Funeral, stealing a page from Meg’s “Tyler Perry” playbook. Maybe not everyone in America was going to see this movie, but at least all the black people would, went the thinking. Well, if that was the case, there are way less black Americans than I thought. The movie was reviewed fairly well, but failed to top $40 million.

Overall Value: +6

Rd 3, Pk 8 (26)

What they took: Splice, by Jesse

Movie Score: 11 (22)

What they should have taken: Letters to Juliet

-Jesse took an Adrien Brody-Sarah Polley gene-splicing horror movie, and surprisingly the main problem was not the reaction of critics, who reviewed the movie very favorably (tied for 3^rd-best reviewed movie of the quarter), but with audiences, who contributed just under $16 million to The Crack Commando Unit.

Overall Value: +4

Rd 3, Pk 9 (27)

What they took: Letters to Juliet, by Ellen

Movie Score: 23 (17)

What they should have taken: Letters to Juliet

-Ellen nails it by trusting Amanda Seyfried with her fantasy life, and she rewarded her by turning in the tied-for-1^st-best pick, although it wasn’t enough to offset the 2^nd-worst pick of The Losers. Still, Ellen’s drafting skills are clearly present, and her late-draft surge makes her a presence to be watched in the future.

Overall Value: +10

Sum of Pick Values:

Kyle +14

Kenz +6

Telt +5

Sarah +3

Jesse +3

Brian +1

Ellen -7

Tim -11

Meg -12

Inception is Exceptional

The Expendables might be the biggest action movie in years or it might be a first-round bust, but either way, you have to admit it has one of the baddest-ass posters ever.

When a movie has the most money and the best reviews, you've got a Hollywood Fantasy League monster on your hands.

"Inception" is continuing to rack up huge dollars into it's last week of scoring, leading Brian and Fart Grab Smell to the top of the standings.

Five weeks into the season, 11 movies have scored points so far in Q3. Brian and Sarah seem to have separated themselves from the pack for now, but surprising performances by "Salt" (60 points in 10 days) and "The Other Guys" (23 Points in three days) threaten to close the gap by month's end.

On tap for this weekend are debuts from the polar opposites of the film world. "The Expendables" will look to score The Crack Commando Unit big points from the male demographic, while Points on the Back End's "Eat, Pray, Love" is expected to draw huge numbers from the Oprah crowd.

Above are the current HFL standings. Click to enlarge. Movies with dark coloring are final scores and those with light coloring are in progress or yet to be released.