"Clash" Gives NC-17 Early Lead

With four weeks of April in the books, the first official HFL points have been scored. "Clash of the Titans" and "Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married Too?" opened the first weekend of April, so their four week scoring period ended on April 29th, and their scores have been tabulated.

NC-17 sits atop the initial standings as its first-round pick "Clash of the Titans" scored 58 points by grossing $148 million dollars and rating a 39 on Metacritic. Sexy Marmaduke Too starts the season simultaneously in second and last place as TPWDIGMT scored 25 ($57 million and 43 Metacritic).

Are these good scores? Decent? Terrible? No one has any fucking clue because these are the first movies to have official points.

These teams won't be lonely in the standings for long, as five other movies are in already in action, and will have their scores made official in the next few weeks. As legendary wrestling announcer Jim Ross would say, "business is about to pick up."

Until then, Meg Rowe, owner of Sexy Marmaduke Too, passes on this little bit of smack talk:
"Sex and the City sold more tickets at a few theaters this weekend than Kick Ass....and it's not coming out for a month.
Oh Tim.
http://gawker.com/5520587/ladies-already-foaming-at-the-mouth-for-sex-and-the-city-2-tickets"

Controversy Engulfs HFL

This weekend, two Hollywood Fantasy League movies battled to a photo finish atop the box office rankings. Much to the Crack Commando Unit's chagrin, it appears that "Date Night" over-reported its revenue by about $2 million, meaning that Rated NC-17's "Clash of the Titans" will remain America's #1 movie for the second straight week.

Full story here:
http://movies.yahoo.com/news/movies.ap.org/titans-tops-date-night-boxoffice-recount-ap

Iron Man 2 Top Pick in Inaugural Draft

The first ever Hollywood Fantasy League draft is in the books, and the the inaugural season is underway!

"Iron Man 2", a surefire summer blockbuster, was the consensus top movie available, and sure enough, it was swooped up with the #1 overall pick by Jurassic Parka.

The #2 pick was much harder to predict, and sure enough, Fart Grab Smell threw the league a curve ball and picked "Twilight: Eclipse". Never before and (hopefully) never again will Brian's fortunes be tied so closely to America's female tween population.

The rest of the draft saw sequels and sci-fi flicks, action-comedies and horror reboots, sleepers, reaches, and 80's TV show adaptations. And when it was all said and done, the 9 owners of the HFL had their rosters.

For my money, I think Mackenzie's Jurassic Parka looks like a juggernaut, but if "Robin Hood" pays dividends for Kyle and he gets anything out of "Death at a Funeral", Points on the Back End will be a contender. Ellen's I am Never Changing my Name to Blanner may have gotten stuck with the last pick, but savvy draft picks "The Losers" and "Knight and Day" will make sure she doesn't finish there.

Tim won the unofficial "Best Team Name" award and ran away with the similarly unofficial "Best Run-on Sentence in an Email During the Draft" award:

"Couple of things
Kyle I'm not falling for your tricks "Kick Ass" is a top notch film that combines the "talents" of Nic Cage, McLovin', and some other people in costumes, and Clark Duke is in the trailer and he was funnish on "Clark and Michael." So don't come later with a weak offer of "Wild Hogs 2," and a majority stake in Sno Caps after such a vile assault on my movie character. Telthorst: Really McKenzie should be lauded for not wanting to hang out with 11 fantasy nerds (who will be drinking and or drunk)? She's smart not a saint no one wants to watch Max drink pee or Henke and Geoff engage in a jumping jacks competition (i debated if i should call it a jumping jack off but that looks a little racy) or see blanner put the beav in the walls of jericho after beav spills his seventh mikes hard raspberry on the floor. good call boyd good call"

The first weekend in April is in the books, and two of the league's movies were in action. Sexy Marmaduke Too's "Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married Too?" earned $30 million in its first weekend, and Rated NC-17's first round pick "Clash of the Titans" earned $61 million in its debut weekend. Both these movies have 3 more weeks to earn money and lock in their Metacritic rating. As of press time, TPWDIGMT has a shockingly decent 47 on Metacritic, while "Clash" is getting a terrendible 39.